Why my new neighbors gotta be cute? Why can’t they be dumpy looking assholes like everyone else?

My brain likes to make up stuff and make me feel bad.

Sometimes I think my mother was bipolar and that scares me.

I was expecting my bi-annual shipment of vape juice to be delayed because of covid19. It came today. I got a new flavor because it was cheep, however it tastes like soap. I should probably wash my hands.

I’ve been watching pottery videos for probably 3 hours. I’m starting to get ideas. Help

Nailed it.

I’ve had a Twitter account for 5 years and haven’t posted a thing. It’s time to iron out those brain wrinkles and think of something witty, clever even, so people think I’m cool online.

I wasn’t feeling good, so I decided to make some pretzels; making pretzels always makes me feel a bit better. However, I ended up messing up the pretzels.

Someone come end me